I don't know what to do

[hello____]

hello, I'm in my final year of highschool this year, so year 12. I been struggling a lot with managing everything. I grew up in an household where my parents always fought, since the day that I could remember, and I don't really have the best relationship with my parents and sibling. I also had a really traumatic incident happen to me a few months ago and I haven't really healed from it to the point that my hands are constantly shaking because of it. I keep everything to myself because I don't want to burden others but I currently just don't feel present. I feel like I'm just floating and observing everyone and everything. Nothing feels real and I'm at a point where I'm not doing my school assignments. I used to be very studious and loved school and it was my escape from my home life but now I hate it. I really don't know what to do because as much as I want to do my work, I open it up but nothing comes to my brain. Does anyone have any advice on how to help with me feeling like nothing's real?

[indigo22]

Hi Hello,

Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.

I can relate to much of your post and I am sorry you are feeling the way you are.

I also grew up in similar circumstances and have been dealing with depression since about the age of 12 (now in my 60s). It's not an easy thing growing up in a dysfunctional family situation and I am not surprised it is taking it's toll on you.

We don't diagnose on the forums but I think that from what you have described, you may be dissociating due to ongoing stress both at home and school. Since you are old enough to take responsibility for your health, can I suggest making an appointment with a GP to talk about what you are experiencing. Whatever is happening within you, it is better to tackle it head on while you are young, this gives you a much better chance of recovery.

Is there a counsellor at your school that you can talk to? You really need some support getting through this difficult time. I didn't have the support that I needed and as a consequence, was not diagnosed with major depression until I was in my 40s. I just assumed that I was born that way, but discovering there was a reason why I felt different and didn't fit, was a relief.

You are not a burden, you are a young person who is struggling emotionally and mentally and needs some help to get back on track. Please reach out to professionals just as you have done here, you don't need to go through this alone. You just need to take your mental health into your own hands and ask for the help that you need.

We will be here to support you when you need us, so please continue this conversation whenever you wish.

Thinking of you with care,

indigo 💜