Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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idk_sorry I don’t want help.
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idk if something is wrong or not with me. i feel so low and tired everyday. i have no interest in anything and have had no hobbies at all for ages. all i have the energy for is uni and one shift a week for work but even that’s fizzing away but it doe... View more

idk if something is wrong or not with me. i feel so low and tired everyday. i have no interest in anything and have had no hobbies at all for ages. all i have the energy for is uni and one shift a week for work but even that’s fizzing away but it doesn’t matter because i’ll push myself to do the work anyway because i don’t want to fail and be even more worthless than i already am. i cry so often and my body hurts with ache a lot of the time but i have to keep doing things or i’ll be a failure. im so afraid of making connections anymore and when i do make a friend i usually have break downs about it later. i just want to isolate as now i see socialising as too taxing on top of uni and work. i just want to be alone. i live alone and just started my first year of uni. i’m constantly stressed out of my mind that i’m losing sleep and overeating. i keep hurting myself almost daily and on the only day i have free in my week, the night before it i binge drink until i pass out. i cant tell if this is a problem or not but either way i don’t think i could ever get help because i don’t want people to worry about me. it would hurt too much to burden others so i don’t think i can ever do that no matter how much people say i wouldn’t be a burden. i’m too horrible to deserve support anyway i need to pay for existing right? i don’t know how to fix myself. i’ve tried working on myself before but it just ends up being a distraction or leans into other self destructive behaviours (such a restricting food and over exercising) anyway do you think i can keep living like this and it’ll just get better by itself? i’m worried that i’ll get worse but the thing is if i do get worse i still am unable to reach out. i just don’t know what to do. maybe it’s all fine and i’m overreacting about normal things. sorry if i am. anyway yeah i’m really sorry i just wanted to get my thoughts out i don’t even really know what i’m asking at this point. i’m so sorry.

indigo22 Following the breadcrumbs to improve mental health
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Hi everyone, The last few months have been somewhat confusing as I have discovered more about my mental / physical health and how it has all been connected. I had not put the pieces together, I am not sure why, it seems so obvious now. I have dealt w... View more

Hi everyone, The last few months have been somewhat confusing as I have discovered more about my mental / physical health and how it has all been connected. I had not put the pieces together, I am not sure why, it seems so obvious now. I have dealt with Dysthymia since about 12 and Major Depression since about 14 but was not diagnosed until my 40s and had no idea that had been the problem all along. I knew I wasn't like everyone else but thought I was just born that way. Back then mental health was not a subject that was openly discussed and the signs mostly went unrecognised and untreated. I had about 10 years of talk therapy with a social worker that helped immensely. I have had a sensitive digestive system for a good portion of my life, not so much that I sought treatment, just things like indigestion with certain foods, bloating and the like. I suppose I thought everyone had those types of issues. I have also had nervous system reactions over the past 15 years, like involuntary shaking in certain situations, that I had put down to getting older and being less resilient having been through a lot of difficult challenges. I have been seeing a psychotherapist who also does somatic work (turns out you were right mmmekitty, I did need some more help). The first session of somatic work, in this case EFT (tapping), brought up a deep and long standing belief that I did not deserve to be helped. The emotions were buried so deep that I was not even aware of them. After that session things went haywire physically for a few days and took some weeks to start to settle. Being the type of person who needs to have an understanding of what is happening and why, I have been reading many books on the symptoms I have had. That is when I began to join the dots about how interconnected by mental and physical health actually were. It has required a lot of processing on my part, and an acknowledgement of what I have been consciously unaware of, but it has been necessary to finding a way forward. This will be an ongoing journey as new symptoms show up that need to be looked at. I know now that there is a lot of unreleased trauma in my body that is a contributing factor in not healing mentally or physically and I know now what needs to be done to improve. There is only so much that the medical profession can do, I believe the rest of the responsibility lies with us in digging deeper to find the causes and the answers. In many ways, that in itself becomes empowering. Take care all.indigo

randomxx Depression - life
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Hi to all.Some will know l've had my ups and downs for sure but l wanted to start this as a new and separate thread bc the old one wound up all about gf ex.Just for the most that won't know though and happen to drop in, l got rid of of my place 6mths... View more

Hi to all.Some will know l've had my ups and downs for sure but l wanted to start this as a new and separate thread bc the old one wound up all about gf ex.Just for the most that won't know though and happen to drop in, l got rid of of my place 6mths back and went caravaning 51/2 mths, just couldn't deal with another place at the time and just felt like a bloody good break and rest first.Wasn't sure how l'd feel about it but it wasn't bad and at times really nice just being free for a bit but later 50s there were also the worries of what to do when l get back. Well back now is too my other place it's not really that l had two houses the second one is just a country block with a cabin in a tiny town that l just rent out, never lived there. Well the tenant moved out so that's where l've come back to, l need to fix it up and sell it toward my new place.This little town this whole thing , not doing me any good at all in this stage of life. l did have to get out of my other place don't regret it it had to be done but it's just been such a huge last 10yrs or so. Divorce and all thenlater on just broken up with later new gf now ex just last yr and now all this and here l am in this place- and then l'll be somewhere else to where l'm thinking of moving to, maybe even building . lf so it'll only be small and minimalist buttt, ldkJust feel like total bs it's all too much and it's like what in the hell am l even doing especially here right now and at this age but ldk how else l could've done things.l had to get out of my last place, l have to be here to fix up this one and it's somewhere at least to stay, it'll be a few mths.Been coming here 20yrs keeping this place up and all the same people are still here couples been together and still here all that time and still sitting in their homes watching tv and doing their lives together.The total opposite lives to mine and now l;m even single and here doing this and then wherever later restarting again andddd, it's all just sooooo, words l can't use here. rx

OliviaD I can’t socialise and I’m tired of trying
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I feel like life just cannot get better from here and I’ll always be 2 steps behind everyone. I had 3 jobs, one ghosted me, the other I quit because I was terrified to go to work, the other mass laid off every casual, and the one I had lined up had b... View more

I feel like life just cannot get better from here and I’ll always be 2 steps behind everyone. I had 3 jobs, one ghosted me, the other I quit because I was terrified to go to work, the other mass laid off every casual, and the one I had lined up had budget cuts and didn’t hire me after I signed my contract. I think normally it would’ve been fine but I’ve realised lately that I have no one to talk to. I spend 8 hours in a day at university and I don’t talk to anyone the whole day. I barely keep in touch with my friends. I feel like I can’t talk to my family. I only have my boyfriend and he just doesn’t understand. It’s like there’s this massive barrier between me and other people and it’s impossible to get over it. I have always been exceptional, I have a 142 IQ and I was told that when I got older people would be more similar to me and it would easy, but I’m older now and nothing has changed and I just can’t socialise. I’ve never faced failure of any kind before and now I feel alone and stupid, I’ve lost the competition and I can’t function if I’m not winning. And I can’t even help myself because I feel like if someone else buried me alive, why do I have to do all the work to dig myself out? Why can’t someone else pick up a shovel? I’ve done everything correctly and I still feel like people who have done everything wrong and cheated are beating me, like I’m being punished and I’m the only one. I don’t want to just be average and get by, I truly feel like I’m supposed to do and have more, and now I don’t know what to do. My brain is hurting me every day, I see patterns in everything, my senses are on fire, my thoughts scream at me over the top of each other in a cacophony of madness, it’s starting to become too much for me to handle. I know great minds often fall into madness, I’m starting to think my psychiatrist lied or I fluked my IQ test, I don’t feel like a genius I feel like a madman, and it is taking everything in me to not turn to vices that will help silence the noise. I’ve felt like this my whole life and I don’t know if I can continue to feel this way anymore, I don’t want to fight my own brain forever, I don’t want to constantly be drowning in the noise of my own thoughts or to see things as vividly as I see them. I don’t quite want to die, but I think if it was as easy as flipping a switch I would. Sometimes I want to cut that thread connecting me to reality and fall into my head completely because I’m safe there and I have friends I talk to in my own world in my mind and they understand me and I don’t have to try. Idk, this was mostly a vent, any advice on making friends as an adult who is pretending to be introverted to avoid rejection would be greatly appreciated.

tryingtoexist Probably just a rant, any tips please let me know
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BACK GROUND STUFF - So at school there was this beyond blue seminar that I found really helpful, and I’m here cause maybe someone out there can relate to me. In the past I haven’t had many friends, and only til a few years ago I really had myself. Th... View more

BACK GROUND STUFF - So at school there was this beyond blue seminar that I found really helpful, and I’m here cause maybe someone out there can relate to me. In the past I haven’t had many friends, and only til a few years ago I really had myself. Then during covid I had to juggle school work and take care of my mum, who was going in and out of hospital a lot and couldn’t really walk or get up easy. So I didn’t have anyone to talk to. On top of that I was also extremely bullied back at school by a certain person who said I should die and that no one liked me. I stuffed all those feelings away, I think because no one wanted to talk to me and I didn’t know what I was going through. Then the next year I forgot about all that and joined a really toxic friend group cause I didn’t know what having friends was like, I thought it was normal to be shut down and ignored. anyways, I started to just be sick of feeling so much that I started to feel nothing, to the point were I was completely numb and didn’t care if I died because I thought no one cared. I don’t know if I had depression, but I did used to purposefully hurt myself to feel something. Since then, I’ve found my way to God and realised I have a purpose, left that friend group, made new friends and started a ‘new chapter’ where I can feel happier. TO NOW - lately though, I’ve been trying to move on, but it’s been hard. I keep on wondering if things might have changed or if I really was depressed because I think I might have been and now I overthinking about that. And now I’ve been really anxious, I don’t know why, but I keep getting thoughts about: my parents dying people hating me failing school losing friends scared of talking in case I’m shut down zoning out and imagining terrible scenarios which has caused me to do: - getting chronic headaches - itching - fiddling - breathing fast - nausea - dizziness - weakness/fatigue for standing up - splitting headaches - biting my lip i know these things effect me from time to time but now they’re making my life difficult and causing me to leave in class by pretending to go to the bathroom, when in reality I feel like I’m going to breakdown crying or have a panic attack or puke. I hate that I haven’t told anyone but I want some advice like who should I tell, or how should I tell someone? Because I’m scared things will get even worse and no one will notice. I know people care but I don’t know if they can notice in time if that makes sense. i know no-one’s life is easy but I don’t think my life is good enough right now to considered ‘functioning’. I’m just not sure how to talk to my friends because they haven’t noticed at all and I’m scared they think I don’t trust them because I really do. I really hope if someone is reading this they can feel less alone, because it would be nice to know if I’m not completely alone in these feelings. Stay safe, much love<3

Trying Lonely
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I feel like an imposter in this group. I have had an amazing 50 year career in nursing, owned my own home nursing business and several others. Been the manager at many community and aged care facilities. Always a go getter, confident person. As I got... View more

I feel like an imposter in this group. I have had an amazing 50 year career in nursing, owned my own home nursing business and several others. Been the manager at many community and aged care facilities. Always a go getter, confident person. As I got older I started to get anxiety. My marriage failed and I had to cope on my own. Which I did. I decided to move to NW QLD from NSW to be closer to my grandkids and great grandkids. They bring so much to my life. I've since retired, own my home and a new car. I should have it all, right? Then why do I wake up anxious every morning, no energy to face the day, struggle to maintain my house. I have 2 beautiful dogs that love exercise. I force myself to take them for walks. I can't sleep at night. Not unusual to be still up at 2am. I drink too much wine, thinking it will help me sleep and then feel like shit the next day. I got booked for low range DUI and lost my license for a month. So humiliating. That's when I realized I'd hit rock bottom. I'm seeing my GP, I've contacted a counseling service. I'm having major eye surgery in Townsville later this month and booked in to see a deep mind therapist to hopefully help with my fears and my addictions.I'm doing all I can to get back my life. I have so much to live for, but I sometimes wish I wasn't here any more. I can't live the rest of my life living like this.

hello____ I don't know what to do
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hello, I'm in my final year of highschool this year, so year 12. I been struggling a lot with managing everything. I grew up in an household where my parents always fought, since the day that I could remember, and I don't really have the best relatio... View more

hello, I'm in my final year of highschool this year, so year 12. I been struggling a lot with managing everything. I grew up in an household where my parents always fought, since the day that I could remember, and I don't really have the best relationship with my parents and sibling. I also had a really traumatic incident happen to me a few months ago and I haven't really healed from it to the point that my hands are constantly shaking because of it. I keep everything to myself because I don't want to burden others but I currently just don't feel present. I feel like I'm just floating and observing everyone and everything. Nothing feels real and I'm at a point where I'm not doing my school assignments. I used to be very studious and loved school and it was my escape from my home life but now I hate it. I really don't know what to do because as much as I want to do my work, I open it up but nothing comes to my brain. Does anyone have any advice on how to help with me feeling like nothing's real?

4n0Nn13 Feeling hopeless
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I’m not sure on where to start as I struggle with expressing my thoughts and feelings. I feel like I’ve been struck in this unhappiness for a while, it’s hard for me to explain it my partner what I’ve been experiencing internally. I find it an effort... View more

I’m not sure on where to start as I struggle with expressing my thoughts and feelings. I feel like I’ve been struck in this unhappiness for a while, it’s hard for me to explain it my partner what I’ve been experiencing internally. I find it an effort to try explain when I don’t really understand why I’m feeling the way I do. I have no motivation to do daily tasks as I’m waking up to a sense of dread, I don’t really have a sense of purpose and worry I’m thinking too much about what it would be like to just move on and not really do this anymore. I want to feel connected but I struggle with being vulnerable or when I do try to reach out, it’s been misunderstood and I’m feeling alone again.

Fen Depressed partner leaving
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I was in a six year relationship with my partner. We had what I thought was a loving, stable and solid relationship. When my partner became depressed the relationship also ended as they broke it off without much warning. My question is, do depressed ... View more

I was in a six year relationship with my partner. We had what I thought was a loving, stable and solid relationship. When my partner became depressed the relationship also ended as they broke it off without much warning. My question is, do depressed partners come back once they’ve recovered and they can access emotions such as love again? Do they disappear or come back for a friendship or to the relationship they once had?

Tizzy Depression & Hopelessness of having just a normal life
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This is getting unbearable now. I am nearly 67 and have had Depressive Episodes ALL of my life. I never feel like I have enough energy to do anything. I can’t escape because I can’t hurt the people that I love like that, but waking up everyday to thi... View more

This is getting unbearable now. I am nearly 67 and have had Depressive Episodes ALL of my life. I never feel like I have enough energy to do anything. I can’t escape because I can’t hurt the people that I love like that, but waking up everyday to this constant overwhelm, irritation & anger and sadness is so draining. Battling my mental health seems pointless sometimes. I see how others live. They don’t all have these issues. I don’t mean to be selfish or pitiful, but why me? Being alive just doesn’t seem to make sense to me. I haven’t ever felt “normal” whatever that is...just waking up each morning with some kind of joy or anticipation would be a start. I have been married for 46 years but want to separate from my husband. Ive had enough of his gaslighting and selfesh ways but i cannot financially support myself. I am nearly at Pension Age but that's probably not enough for me to manage an independent life with a roof over my head. I live for my children and grandchildren but they all live in different cities. I have lived here for 31 years but even though i know quite a few people i do NOT have a friend. Nope not one...not here...I do have one but she does not live here, although we are in contact weekly. I have too many things wrong with me to fix. IVe tried all kinds of therapy and medications and although they have helped a little at the time nothing has worked. I read about this new treatment coming available soon and I maybe can try that BUT I live in the Country NSW - so you think there will be a trained person to oversee this here...NOPE again I will miss out. I"ve had enough...I am exhausted and sick and tired of my life and my husband and my future.

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